Yosemite to Add Escalator to Half Dome for Easier Access

*Happy April Fool’s Day! This article is part of the Active NorCal April Fool’s Day Extravaganza. Don’t @ us.

In an unprecedented move aimed at improving accessibility (and selfie potential), Yosemite National Park announced plans to install a state-of-the-art escalator to the summit of Half Dome, eliminating the need for strenuous hiking and nerve-wracking cable climbs.

The escalator, dubbed the “Half Dome Glide,” will stretch 4,800 feet from the valley floor to the summit, featuring scenic stops, motivational messages like “Almost there, champ!” and a mid-ride snack kiosk sponsored by Clif Bar.

“We believe everyone should be able to summit Half Dome—even if they forgot their hiking boots,” said a Yosemite spokesperson, adding that the escalator will be solar-powered and bear-resistant (probably).

Reaction to the announcement was swift. Traditional hikers expressed outrage, while others celebrated the idea of conquering Half Dome without breaking a sweat. “This is the best thing since walking sticks with cup holders,” one tourist said.

The escalator is expected to open on April 1, 2027—pending approval from literally everyone who still takes nature seriously.